After a traumatic brain injury I started having seizures. Once the grand mal seizures stopped, due to medication, I was continuing to have activity I couldn’t explain. My symptoms terrified me by taking my breath away in gasps, feeling a bone crushing sensation, and making me feel like I was shaking when I wasn’t. I stopped driving for over a year and found it very hard to be social, because I didn’t want to describe to others what I was going through. I went over a year, having these attacks at minimum five times a day, before being diagnosed with PNES.
The same day I was informed of PNES was when I learned about Dr. Moenter’s service. The first session we had together I spent the whole time crying, because in my time being diagnosed I had never met someone who could relate when I described my body aches, but also said I could live a full life with it. She said I would drive again, and I am now. She taught me how to listen to my body to keep my activity at bay. I learned how often my body was responding to things I wasn’t addressing in my personal life.
Today I am over a year seizure free. Although I still have some symptoms of PNES, I can mitigate them and predict their arrival, because I’ve learned my triggers. I can drive, which I thought was an unattainable goal when I started therapy a year ago. I also now have the tools to explain my activity to others, and be at peace with the boundaries I’ve set to maintain my body’s ease. Something I didn’t realize would be a part of the healing process, that was greatly aided by Dr. Moenter, was recognizing the role of self love. To consider epilepsy as a separate part of myself, a part that I could hate, wasn’t conducive to moving forward. I had to learn to love it as a part of me, and respect it like any other part of me.
Dr. Moenter has provided me with good emotional education, and has shown how that applies to seizure triggers. I feel comfortable talking about personal issues that don’t just involve seizure activity. She impacted my life way more than I ever expected when we started working together. I would certainly not be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.